I took some time off from anxiety. It was good. I was able to relax and have fun. Now I’m back – not that I really wanted to come back to anxiety… But I’m definitely back. In fact I got back 2-3 days ago. I’ve had a “condition” for a couple of weeks. Nothing serious. Nothing to worry about. I still went to the doctor who checked me out, gave me a prescription and sent me out the door. I was fine. The doctors appointment had been a clear headed call by a normal person – me.

The drugs from the doctor didn’t work. The condition was still there. And I wasn’t getting any better. Finally – 2 or 3 days ago – I could no longer resist that greatest of all urges (when you have anxiety disorder). I googled.

This is the worst thing anyone with anxiety can do. Using Google for self-diagnosis is – at best – very very bad. If you search for any condition long enough you will always end up with cancer. Or something equally bad.

And, of course, that was the result of my self-diagnosis. Slowly, but surely, I somehow worked my way towards the worst possible decease that matched my condition and when I found it I started matching vague pains and feelings to other symptoms. Suddenly I was deadly sick and anxiety started to settle in again. It is truly like that terrible guest that appears and never leaves again.

So I spend 2-3 days in total fear for my life. I go back to the doctor and he takes another look. Conclusion. Of course my google self-diagnosis was just ridiculous and there is nothing wrong with me. Of course I’ve again spent a part of my life worrying about something that wasn’t real.

The lesson? If you have a condition, stay away from google. And, yeah. You can actually take a break from anxiety. And that’s the positive experience. So I think I’ll take another one right now…