Guest blogger Summer writes:
I like to control things. I like to be able to plan things out and know what is going to happen. As my three children enter into the teenage years I am beginning to figure out that there is not a whole lot that I can control anymore. And that makes me anxious. My kids are really good kids and that should make me feel better but there are still so many things out there that could swoop in and destroy their lives. Believe me I have imagined some of the worst.
My husband told me that he deals with things as they come, where it seems I try to deal with things before they even happen. How do I get back to dealing in the moment? Me being the control freak perfectionist that I am, know that I must do these things to lower my stress and anxieties: regular exercise, good nutrition, stop the worrying and turn off the monkey mind in my head. Sounds easy, right?
Did I mention that it is really cold here and my summer walking route is under a layer of ice with more snow expected tonight. My diet is usually pretty good but with all the holiday festivities going on I am more conscious of the fact that everything around me to eat is not what I should be eating. Which either makes me not eat or eat too much of the chocolate fudge that the gals from work bring in. As for not worrying, did I mention that my daughter turns 16 in a month and every night wants to go for a drive (on the ice covered roads). So what can I do? I can still practice my yoga and dig out my old relaxation cd’s. I can write down my anxieties and think of more realistic outcomes. I can go help someone who really does have something to worry about. And I can try to enjoy what is happening today instead of worrying about the future. I can remember that I can only control what is in my power to control and the rest will happen whether I am worrying or not. Maybe then the monkey brain will get the message and leave.
6 comments
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December 16, 2007 at 10:28 am
Josh
Summer, you’ve hit on a very important point here. Learning how to LET GO is one of the most important steps in overcoming anxiety. Too often we think that we have to constantly be in control of everything. Unfortunately, controlling everything — or even MOST things — is impossible. The truth is, we’re NOT in control. And any time we think we are, we’re just fooling ourselves. Constantly trying to control everything is a tremendous source of pressure, anxiety, and stress… and it’s a complete waste of time. Great post!
December 16, 2007 at 3:52 pm
jane
What I have come to realise is that all you can do is live life to the best of your ability. There are no promises and there is no point in bargaining. Bad things can happen to good people. If eating properly and exercise help us to feel better and to live a good life then that’s great. However it is easy for it all to become about control as Summer says. I sometimes find myself thinking if i do this (whatever this happens to be) – then “that”won’t happen. I think it is important to work out what we can control and what is worth controlling, and then realising that everything else is up for grabs! Thanks for the post Summer, it’s really thought provoking.
January 4, 2008 at 6:17 am
Nikita
Wow! amazing
I like that!
January 24, 2008 at 4:49 pm
eskimokiss
I just found this blog looking for anxiety stuff, as I was just diagnosed with it today. This is great! I need to print this out, blow it up, plaster it all over my walls! I am such a control freak and it really causes me nothing but unhappiness. I’m glad I found this!
March 17, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Floroskop
Hello!
I think this try.
July 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Ron
Lucky to find you, keep on the good workk guys! Best of luck.p